I was…
Left in a village of primitive socialisation misconstrued for civilisation.
It was savagery.
Survival at the expense of freedom couldn’t be any better.
Scrapes of hopes from thin-bartered-walls of courage would serve to be a constant reminder of my fate, my struggles…my demise.
One long bloody struggle against my erroneous yet barbaric thought-pattern. I expected a lot of work out of feeble limbs.
Is this what there is to life?
It can’t be a one-way street to hell!
Even in hell, I expected to find other chambers of comfort, no matter how small they would be.
It wouldn’t be heat everywhere.
I would search for a ravine in a desolate land, where my hope would lie untapped.
That Abraham’s bosom.
Free of terror.
Seeing how terror had ruined me, fooled me twice!
Kept me at bay during the critical industrious segments of my long moment!
At birth, and in my youth. It couldn’t fool me for the third time with the same trick.
Barricading me from my promised land, which kept on waiting anxiously for the day I would confront my apprehension.
It’s the voice of a loner in a desert!
A child devoid of love.
With more to fear than the gloom licking his future.
What will a trembling departed soul expect to find from empty pockets of its imagination?
At times we laugh at something not because it’s funny,
But because of what we are, or have been, going through.
How we need this feel-good hormone to line the sombrous chambers of our hearts with positive energy, determines how hard we will laugh.
Driven by the motive to dilute pessimism and filter out negativity.
I had missed that sensation when;
I laughed at a mosquito for biting me on the wrong ear!
Turns out the feeling would be short-lived, leaving me plummeting into that unwanted pool of Sadness again!
How could I cry for bees to dance around the corrugated roof sheets of my dreams, through which photons of optimism pierced through, reaching for my troubled self.
Truly, I was a kid, with a bright future lingering just above but beyond the reach of his fingers of Logic.
I needed to try harder, to redefine Saneness. A man Whose Name, Hope had forgotten…
Waiting for Changes to happen when Kings go to war, For now… I will keep searching far and wide,
Tracing for even the subtle cues of familiarity in the man and a character in the mirror, staring back at me….
A stranger I met on the way to self-discovery.